The Toilet Mug

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Spatula, tongs, fork, and basting brush neatly packed in a heavy-duty aluminum case. Finally stop flipping steaks with a regular kitchen fork like an amateur.

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Melted chocolate in the middle of the table and everyone armed with a tiny fork. The most delicious way to make the family finally put their phones down.

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A soft, handmade retro controller with a happy face, made for late-night gamers. It will not help you pass the level, but it will guard your desk while you sleep.

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The drill bits that finally remove that stripped screw that has been mocking Dad from the door hinge for three years. Inexpensive, but winning that war is priceless.

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Ditch your shoes at the front door and slide into pure softness. These fuzzy open-toe house slippers feature thick memory foam that molds to your stride and a slip-resistant sole for cold floors. Machine washable.

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A handy pocket multi-tool with a sweet engraved message meant just for his eyes every time he flips it open. Fixes everything while secretly reminding him who gave it to him.

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Eight deep-kneading nodes with soothing heat that deliver the deep tissue massage no family member ever gives right. Over 40,000 rave reviews from people who refuse to share.

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Closed, it's a hardcover book; open, a fan of warm light in five colors. Every nightstand's favorite magic trick.

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A five-inch plastic pickle with a single button. You press it, and it yodels. It does nothing else: no apps, no Bluetooth, no real-world problem solving. Costs less than two lattes and is mathematically impossible to press just once.