Real polished ox horn featuring a sturdy metal stand so your mead does not spill, because Valhalla gods demand honor, not flat bottoms. Holds over 16 oz and turns any Tuesday night beer into a victorious war raid. Warning: drinking from a regular glass will forever feel wildly underwhelming after this.
The button takes you to the store; prices can change without notice.
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Mints in a tin with a diagnosis included: for people who never remember anything. Bought for the joke, kept for the flavor.
Hide treats inside the pack and let your pup pull them out one by one. This squeaky plush toy crinkles, squeaks, and parodies a tobacco brand you will instantly recognize. The plush cigarettes pop in and out.
A handy pocket multi-tool with a sweet engraved message meant just for his eyes every time he flips it open. Fixes everything while secretly reminding him who gave it to him.
A pocket-sized booklet packed with fill-in-the-blank prompts detailing every reason why you adore them. Takes 30 minutes to write and will literally never get thrown away.
Two keychains that only make complete sense together: one for them, one for you. The cheapest and most effective gaming-themed romance you will ever find.
A mini putting green that holds your pens, complete with ball, flag, and putter. Wrap up a call, sink a putt, and get back to work like nothing happened.
Twist the lid and the chicken comes out shredded in seconds — no forks, no burnt fingers. Twenty-five thousand reviews: America's meal-preppers already know.
A compass, saw, fire starter, whistle, first-aid supplies, and two hundred other tools packed into a book-sized case. You will probably never need it. And that is exactly why you'll sleep better keeping it in your trunk.
Automatically lights up when you walk into the bathroom at night, glowing in whatever color you choose. Say goodbye to blinding overhead bathroom lights at 4 AM. Your retinas will thank you.